why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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