508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
