if i can run in heels then i can drive
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
