Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
