God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
