I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
