How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
