Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize