What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
