it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize