So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I will pee on everything he values.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
