does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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