u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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