she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
