i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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