i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize