First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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