I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
