Already got asked if we're dating
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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