when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
