We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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