I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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