I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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