i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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