Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
