Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
