I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
