Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
In other news, I just burned my penis
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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