mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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