is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
