Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
