Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
