Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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