Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
