ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
