we have officially lost it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
