WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
