i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I will pee on everything he values.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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