the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize