i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize