So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
