Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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