i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
