There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
