I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
