I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize