There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
