I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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