i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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