So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
