hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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