Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
