I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
