I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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