I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Randomize
