Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
