please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
this hospital has no fireball
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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